Diary of a realist

  Someone once asked me what I’m afraid of… I replied; “ATTACHMENTS” I’m afraid of getting attached to people —afraid that if I grow close to someone and they change or leave, it will hurt.  I fear losing people.  I’m scared they might walk away and leave me behind. Because of all this, I choose to stay alone — in my own little world. I talk to myself, I feel myself, and In that space there’s no one who can break my heart!!! ~kiran shah

Stop worrying about what other people think of you and focus on yourself instead. Focus on what makes your soul feel at peace. You are your biggest commitment, so start loving your flaws, your awkwardness, your weirdness, your intensity, and your vulnerability. Life becomes so much more fulfilling when you are simply yourself. The world keeps spinning whether people understand you or not, so why not make this next trip around the sun about you? 

I just want a break from my own thoughts… From the constant noise in my head it never stops every little thing turns into a battle every quiet moment fills with doubts, worries, regret i overthink everything and it’s overwhelming. I can’t shut it off, I can’t escape it, no matter where I go it follows me I just want some peace even if it’s only for a little while just a moment where my mind doesn’t feel like my worst enemy.     💫k….Shah

I'm slowly getting bored of life, Like a book I've read too many times. The days blur, the nights drag, Each moment weighed by a heavy flag. The things that once lit a fire inside, Now feel empty, hollow, dried. Conversations echo but don't touch my soul, I laugh, I smile, but it's all a role. The world moves on, bright and loud, While I'm lost in the shadows of the crowd. Everything feels like a repeat, the same old song, I keep walking, but the road feels wrong. I try to care, to feel, to try, But all I do is question why. Why am I here, what's the point of this? Life feels like a story I don't want to miss - Yet it's draining, dull, and pulling me down, Like drowning in silence, where no one's around. I'm tired of pretending, tired of the game, Each day feels different, yet painfully the same. I'm not alive, just barely surviving, A heart still beating, but not truly thriving. And as I sit, staring at the night, I wonder if the stars feel ...

I don't think I'm really living... I mean, I go through the motions. I get up, I do what I'm supposed to do, I smile when I need to, but it's like watching my life from behind glass. Everything feels dull and distant. I'm just existing, breathing, walking, talking, but there's no spark, no purpose, no real joy. And I see everyone else laughing, making plans, chasing dreams, and I'm just here, stuck in the same loop, wondering when I'll start to feel alive again.

How everyone asks me, " Have you never been in love ?" I don't know how to explain that I'm scared of falling in love. I've seen too much of this generation normalizing cheating, manipulation, ghosting, lying, toxic behaviors, emotional neglect, and treating people as temporary distractions. It's heartbreaking to see love reduced to lust, with no genuine connection, turning into a game of convenience and selfishness. How could I not be afraid of something that now feels more like a gamble than a commitment?